Last weekend I arrived at the studio totally prepared for the day’s battle. The heat was not working, yet again. I snuck in just before the class was letting out and when I got to the office there were two black blocks sitting on my desk. There was a note that said, “we love what you have done with the place but there is just one thing blocking you from you fullest potential.” I was like WTF! Who does not like my blocks? What vendor has wondered in and is attempting a passive-aggressive sales pitch to buy new blocks. I worked my ass off on this new studio, I grew its potential the best I could - is that not enough for you? Bad enough I have had a flood, sewer problems, weekly HVAC issues, ants and so on. Give me a fucking break.
And there I was - STUCK in my world of defensiveness, hustle, judgment. Living one day to the next just running around putting out fires. Surviving what is going on, not living. Definitely not basking in what I had created and all the amazing things that were happening right in front of me. I was in a big story in my head and the world was against me.
So……back to the blocks. Turns out, every teacher at the studio pitched in and bought the community brand new blocks. They were a gift! A show of support. They had taken all the old blocks away and replaced them so when I walked into the practice room I was surprised. Didn’t I feel like an asshole!
I have been pondering on this for a few days now. What other gifts have I been missing out on? What moment of gratitude have I been shitting on with “whats wrong now?” And wow, is “I am not good enough, I am not doing it right” showing up for me again. And this is why I love this practice. Just when you get comfortable, when you think you are somewhere, you actually discover exactly where you are. And what is awesome about this place is that the potential for growth is amazing. It is there for me, all of the time. I just have to be willing to give my stories up and step up to the plate and grab it.