On Friday, I was super excited to practice, it would be my 3rd practice in the new studio space, and I couldn’t wait to get my groove on. I was feeling good. Flying high from everything that had been happening - the studio rebrand, the move, all the new trainings, things I am facilitating and so much more. A lot has been happening and it has been amazing. I knew this practice would be as well, I was feeling free and powerful.
Well, my body had a different plan. The teacher called child’s pose - and it hurt. In down dog, my body felt like I had 20 pound weights on my shoulders and then finally in a standing pose I fell to my knees. Like literally, my body said stop and I crumbled on my mat. This was a new crumbling for me. I have had several mental and emotional meltdowns on my mat, never a physical one like this. I made it through practice modifying nearly every pose and doing less than 50% of the overall practice. I had to give up what the teacher and other students must have thought (like Gina is just rolling around on her mat). I could not even do 1/2 pigeon my hips felt so bad. It was clear that no matter how good I thought I felt, my body was not matching my mind and was having none of it. My body said STOP - TAKE A BREAK!
I have been growing both of my businesses, leading a training of some sort every weekend, physically moving the studio, doing construction and cleaning up floods (this is not an exaggeration - like 3 inches of water filled the studio 4 days after opening). I looked at my calendar and realized that I had not taken one day off in the past 27 days. I felt great about all of this, but my body was taking a beating and I was not listening. After this practice I took stock on what I actually felt. My hips felt stuck, probably a symptom of sitting on the floor for 5 hours the day before and crawling around with a wet vac for another 3 hours. My back felt like it was on fire - from all the furniture I had been moving. My shoulders did not want to lift, because they had done so much painting and lifting already. And so on and so on. My body hurt and I did not even know it until it took me out.
What I learned is that you cannot do it all. At some point, if you do not rest and recover, you will be forced to. That when I get wrapped up in BUSY I am not listening to what is actually in front of me and what my body is trying to tell me. And so I rested. I rejuvenated. Took some long baths, took a couple of days off, slept in and ate some real food. After all, none of it is worth it if you cannot be a part of what you are creating in the first place.